FORUM GAME: jokes!!!

What does Gabe Newell use to clean the floor in his house???

a STEAM mop!!!

(I came up with that on the fly xD)
 
I tried water polo, but my horse drowned

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
 
Yo mama so fat Weight Watchers wouldn't accept her.
Yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in the parking meter and thought a gumball would come out.
Yo mama so ugly that when she looked the mirror the mirror cracked.
(My all time favorites!)
 
Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad.

Yo mama is so fat that even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama is so fat that I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama is so fat that her blood type is Ragu.
 
One time a kid heard someone say "purple passion" on the way to school. At school he asks his teacher what "purple passion" means. He's immediately sent to the principals office. When the principal asks him why he's in there, he says he just said purple passion... And is immediately expelled. When he gets home, he tells his parents that he got expelled. When they ask why he once again says purple passion... And is immediately kicked out of his house. He eventually ends up in Italy, and walks across the road into a bar(because you can drink when you're like 16) and drinks a few drinks. He tells the bartender his predicament, and says once again purple passion, and gets kicked out of the bar. He walks across the road again.... And gets hit by a car. Moral of the story:look both ways before you cross the road
 
Yo mama joke incomeing.

Yo mama is so ugly,that when she put a picture of herself on her computer,it got rejected by the anti-virus software.
Boom!
 
You mama is so fat!
She dosent need internet. She's, WORLD WIDE!
 
This one might be kind-of offensive, (SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!) but your mom is like a hockey player, she only showers after 3 periods!!!
 
Pie4lyfe said:
Here's da HARDCORE MOMMA JOKE X-STEAM OMG SO OP THAT ALL BOW DOWN AND CRY ALL DEY AND NITE BECAUSE THE PRESENCE OF IS TOO STRONG THAT THE UNIVERSE IS BARELY STANDING AND THE REASON WHY IS PROBABLY CUZ OF CHUCK NORRIS BUT ANYWAY HE GOT BEAT UP BY BRUCE LEE BECUZ HE FELT LIKE IT NOW BACK TO TOPIC ABOUT THIS NAME OF THE JOKE THATS SO HARDCORE BECUZ NOTHING CAN STAND IN ITS WAY EXCEPT FOR KENNY BECUZ HE ALWAYS COMES BACK TO LYFE EVERYTIME HE DIES BECUZ HE'S A NAZI ZOMBIE WHICH IS PRETTY WEIRD BECUZ THE NAZI ACTUALLY TRY TO BRING THE DED TO LYFE BECUZ OF THIS HARDCORE MOMMA JOKE THAT BRINGS CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION EVERYWHERE IT GOES BECUZ THATS HOW IT ROLLS LIKE A ROLL OF A EGGROLL THAT JUST BEEN TOLD THE HARDCORE MOMMA JOKE WHICH CAUSED IT TO SPOIL AND ROT TILL IT SMELLS LIKE POOP BECUZ OF PETER GRIFFIN FORGOT TO CLEAN THAT POOP UP AFTER BRIAN ATE IT B4 HIS FAKE DETH BUT YOU KNOW ALL IS FORGIVEN BECUZ ITS THE HARDCORE MOMMA JOKE OF ALL TIME AND WILL BE FOREVER AND FOREVER AND FOREVER! here it goes! :

Yo momma so fat.... she's fat....

images
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Snif snif* u het my fevings
 
MC3K_Neonz said:
Military 1: Cover me !
Military 2 covers military 1 with blanket
----------------------------
Guy (shocked face): WHAT IF HE SAID FIRE IN THE HOLE ?!!!!!!???
Click to expand...
Over used meme. Dice plz nerf...
 
Pie4lyfe said:
Fat* not ugly....
Click to expand...
Fixed

Thanks for correcting my typo.

Anyways........ Yo mama is so fat, that in order to get her to get out of the house, you need to grease the door frame and hold out a box of Twinkies on the other side!!!
 
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