Daters! (A parody of Medic!)

[The Snipah]

There's a stressful hellish realm, reserved for everybody asks, "They need the couple!". Every evening when I sleep, when I'm busy paying fees, they all scream "Boyfriend!". When I'm eating, when I'm resting or writing on the job, there's no running from the shouting in my mind, there's no place for a little break, where I can take an simple break and make ties.. The only real solution is start a Pay to Win! "Daters!", oh speak of the greedy.. All the glitches I have sealed, all the problems I have healed, I'm a changed person! Now those glitches now can stay, when I blow some daters away! Beware the updates! Oddy and the Snipah, I'm would say they got not long, the campers and the mechs will quickly fade.. And the devs will just laugh, as the begineer's cut in half, by Rilisofts and his Super overpowered blade! Now the Snipah has jars of Jarate, clear jars that he fills with his pi**! When he hits at the foes, as the headshots all his blows! He has that, I has this! Duke LaRue has electronics, and Helium has methods and tricks, and the Feesh just has stranges! Eh, the noob is kinda lame, they have that, I have this! I have this! If you like a reason why, all the daters just should die, then get the Stinger! Well friends, the skill out, because there so crazy! so simply shout, you'll get no balance! I don't care about maps and armor, only chopping dater's feet, nor which color you're playing red or blue! And if I see one more complaint, I'll ban your insides out like that! Like Pixel Man in a safari to the zoo! I'm maker on a mission and storm hammers are my style. Am I a creator or a man, I cannot say! All I know is that I have my console locked and loaded like a trooper! Unbalanced-Ware, one shot away! You think I arrived bearing updates But I come not with peace but a ban! There's a high price to pay of the fixes I purveyed! All I do, you keep asking, All I do, I'm abhorred! I once, was a man who was valiantly updating, everyone crying "Boyfriend!" I once healed a dater who stabbed me goodbye, that when I learned, to let daters die! Let them die! Let the boyfriend just for dead! Let the hacker filled with lead! Meet the new update! Let the girlfriend be enflamed! May you loath this wretched room without the update! May your coins all be stolen, your couple be lost! May the smurfs full of alot of quitting! And the first fool that I hear who calls for a weapon gets their rear banned surgically! By me, your friendly opness, the Rilisoft.

Dannyman12 made the orginial lyrics available in Deviantart.
Orginial song and lyrics was by Random Encounters.