ElectricShrew65
aka Kyoo
So, this is chapter 1 of my novel. This novel actually has users @Duke_LaRue and @MintStorm in it. I hope you don't rage after reading this.
A Pixel Of A Gun
A firsthand account of a soldier in the dater war
Chapter 1: first day in the army
It's been quite some time since I've joined the anti-dating army. Ever since the start of the mysterious (and inappropriate) dating regime, we've been locked in a furious war that might never end.
We're not just fighting to destroy the dating regime, but we're also fighting to survive. Yes, survive.
Well, before all of this, soldiers have to go through a horrendous process known as boot camp. Many soldiers even say that boot camp is worse than war itself.
Here's how the first day of boot camp went, in the bunk room of the Lynx squad...
Unfortunately, It didn't go so well.
"ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS! GET UP!"
Our drill instructor was really harsh on us, and that definitely hammered a rock on my head each day.
"Ladies, I am gunnery sergeant Burton, and I am here to drill you until you are on the battle-"
"MLG FOR LIFE BABY!"
"WHO SAID THAT?"
Uh-oh. The drill instructor was really mad.
"WHO THE HECK SAID THAT?"
"WHO'S THAT SLIMY NINCOMPOOP WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?"
The drill instructor walks over to Duke_LaRue, one of my friends and one of the many privates standing tall in the room.
"Was it you?"
"SIR, NO, SIR!"
"WELL, GO BACK TO SHOWBIZ PIZZA AND JUST DRUM THERE!"
"SIR, I SAID IT, SIR!"
Guess who said it.
"Sorry, Duke."
"You little punk. Let me teach you a lesson."
Bam. It hit me.
The force was so hard, it felt like a twenty kilo rock just fell on my back.
Now, I know why they call him the backbreaker.
"You little punk. I've got your name. You will not laugh. You will not cry. You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you!"
"NOW GET UP ON YOUR FEET!"
I got up.
"YOU BEST FIX YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND THROW A FRAG DOWN YOUR NECK!"
As he left, I was still shaking.
He went over to MintStorm, who was standing on the other side of the room. MintStorm has done absolutely nothing to anger the drill instructor, unlike me."
"You got a fine attitude, private. How would it feel to be the squad leader?"
"SIR, IT WOULD FEEL GREAT,
SIR!"
Dang, MintStorm just joined the army, and he's already the squad leader? Lucky kid.
He went over to this random kid who I had no idea who he was.
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"SIR, PRIVATE BROWN, SIR!"
"From now on, you're private Snowball."
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Do you like that name?"
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Well, here's one thing you won't like."
"They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
He then moved to this frail guy who was around 5 foot 9.
"Do your parents have any children that lived?"
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Well, I bet they regret that."
"You're so ugly you could be a modern-art masterpiece."
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"SIR, KJAWESOME, SIR!"
"What's your real name, private?"
"SIR, LEONARD LAWRENCE, SIR!"
"Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia?"
"SIR, NO, SIR!"
"How tall are you private?"
"SIR, FIVE FOOT NINE, SIR!"
"Five foot nine. I didn't know they stacked crap that high."
"I'll be watching you."
"SIR, YES, SIR."
That concludes the first day of boot camp.
I hope you enjoyed. Care to criticize below?
A Pixel Of A Gun
A firsthand account of a soldier in the dater war
Chapter 1: first day in the army
It's been quite some time since I've joined the anti-dating army. Ever since the start of the mysterious (and inappropriate) dating regime, we've been locked in a furious war that might never end.
We're not just fighting to destroy the dating regime, but we're also fighting to survive. Yes, survive.
Well, before all of this, soldiers have to go through a horrendous process known as boot camp. Many soldiers even say that boot camp is worse than war itself.
Here's how the first day of boot camp went, in the bunk room of the Lynx squad...
Unfortunately, It didn't go so well.
"ALRIGHT, MAGGOTS! GET UP!"
Our drill instructor was really harsh on us, and that definitely hammered a rock on my head each day.
"Ladies, I am gunnery sergeant Burton, and I am here to drill you until you are on the battle-"
"MLG FOR LIFE BABY!"
"WHO SAID THAT?"
Uh-oh. The drill instructor was really mad.
"WHO THE HECK SAID THAT?"
"WHO'S THAT SLIMY NINCOMPOOP WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?"
The drill instructor walks over to Duke_LaRue, one of my friends and one of the many privates standing tall in the room.
"Was it you?"
"SIR, NO, SIR!"
"WELL, GO BACK TO SHOWBIZ PIZZA AND JUST DRUM THERE!"
"SIR, I SAID IT, SIR!"
Guess who said it.
"Sorry, Duke."
"You little punk. Let me teach you a lesson."
Bam. It hit me.
The force was so hard, it felt like a twenty kilo rock just fell on my back.
Now, I know why they call him the backbreaker.
"You little punk. I've got your name. You will not laugh. You will not cry. You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you!"
"NOW GET UP ON YOUR FEET!"
I got up.
"YOU BEST FIX YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND THROW A FRAG DOWN YOUR NECK!"
As he left, I was still shaking.
He went over to MintStorm, who was standing on the other side of the room. MintStorm has done absolutely nothing to anger the drill instructor, unlike me."
"You got a fine attitude, private. How would it feel to be the squad leader?"
"SIR, IT WOULD FEEL GREAT,
SIR!"
Dang, MintStorm just joined the army, and he's already the squad leader? Lucky kid.
He went over to this random kid who I had no idea who he was.
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"SIR, PRIVATE BROWN, SIR!"
"From now on, you're private Snowball."
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Do you like that name?"
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Well, here's one thing you won't like."
"They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
He then moved to this frail guy who was around 5 foot 9.
"Do your parents have any children that lived?"
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"Well, I bet they regret that."
"You're so ugly you could be a modern-art masterpiece."
"SIR, YES, SIR!"
"What's your name, scumbag?"
"SIR, KJAWESOME, SIR!"
"What's your real name, private?"
"SIR, LEONARD LAWRENCE, SIR!"
"Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia?"
"SIR, NO, SIR!"
"How tall are you private?"
"SIR, FIVE FOOT NINE, SIR!"
"Five foot nine. I didn't know they stacked crap that high."
"I'll be watching you."
"SIR, YES, SIR."
That concludes the first day of boot camp.
I hope you enjoyed. Care to criticize below?
Last edited:
